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But need someone to demolish some section 8 housing? My dude's got you covered. Others are forced after capitulating an attempt to pay prostitutes in Wendy's coupons.

They all start off good, but much like me during Terminator Dark Fate, it only takes 27 seconds to realize you just wasted your money.

I think her first mistake was swiping right inside a Walmart. That kind of risk taking can only translate into one thing: "your 17 inches of combo wieners doesn't phase me, please man up and turn my kidneys into a box of Idaho spud's classic mashed potatoes".

Invitation accepted [ MORE ]. Dead men rise from grave to start fuck by any means. Can YOU stop zombie? Watch whole porn movie clip before decide.

Watch own sufferings. To truly appreciate this one you have to understand it's completely legit. This isn't just any old deviant pretending to get crotch lice at the carnival.

And it may very well be the first documented swinger cuckolding. In other words: The only way Pavol is getting pussy juice on his face today is if he starts crying.

Meet the Helen Keller of casual sex. At first I was like cool, another fake video I'm exposing my White Snake loincloth too Hit me up Rosetta Stone.

The average Becky wouldn't be caught in a Burger King drivethru at night without marathoning 20 minutes of YouTube makeup tutorials.

And then there's this powerhouse: Who ran out of fucks to give somewhere between the 3rd and 4th lung surgery. That was the plan up until Zazu used all of his Rosetta Stone credits on the Jack Sparrow of punani tsunamis.

The result is an unexpected comedy duo, the likes of Seth Rogan would be hired to voice-over in the theatrical release.

Why are the most important discoveries in life accidental? This is siham. And what once was thought to be a single piss-poor decision has blossomed into a pattern of serious mental dysfunction.

Apologies to all the competition out there: pieallthetime not only locked down the entire Mountain Dew demographic, but she's done it with such precision I'm actually impressed.

Enjoy your participation trophy nerds. No, seriously don't. Every once in a while pornography life overlaps into real life lessons. Let's just be glad this learning experience was made possible without the assistance of Czechoslovakian accents, and a petting zoo.

You don't want to see the things I've seen man. Imagine challenging a man that has more performance trophies for his penis than you do for participating in mimosa day at Becky's Brunchonette and expecting to come out on top.

Lady, there's only one person to blame here - and it's not the one who has the accent of a second-string Simpsons character.

Times are tough man. You can try timing a drop in the market, or you can actually get something out of that stimulus check by signing up here.

It's basically guaranteed Return on Erection and you'd be helping Efukt. Homing in on the clip anniversary of offensive sexual acts among a global pandemic, and yet I remain hopeful.

Meet Natalie Brooks. A special kind of girl that clearly needs more than one demonstration to learn her fucking lesson.

Apparently in between marathoning episodes of Metaloclypse, they participate in community services. A Cardi B cocktail, Walmart toilet seats and discounted Rice-a-Roni at a swap meat: All things I'd commit to before slapping a ring on the talons of one of these harpies.

Japanese girl destroys physics and my expectations of all sub lb females at the same damn time. I officially want to be the first American to lend our "Home of the Brave" slogan out to Eastern Asia.

Azumi just earned her badge of courage. If not for this award-winning acting clinic, then for that special my mom taught me how to do this sexual prowess you just don't see anymore.

Sure - you could be some cookie cutter piss sickening wannabe and slingshot your muffin butter onto your girl's face.

Or even the neighbor's litter box perhaps. But only a real man would dare take the road less traveled. Example: This king.

Nothing says "committed relationship" like turning your girlfriend's dirty octopus into a wonderful mistake. Typical millennial. Don't be misled by the Victoria's Secret attire and willingness to film.

She may resemble that waitress at Denny's you wanted to fuck in dad's El Camino Featured Videos. You Fucked Up Bro Nice face.

The Destroyer of Assholes From this angle it appears she's fucking an eggplant. You Can Never Unsee This Sweet mother of expired deli meat, what in the mother fucking Arby's value meal menu is going on here?

LOL: How to Ruin a Cuckold It's all fun and games until the computer engineer you hired to fuck the basic motor function out of your wife, gasses out before the 11th pump.

Your Girlfriend is Cheating on You Getting a piece on the side is pretty straight-forward: Swipe right a few times on Tinder and let the self-loathing begin.

Hell to the Fucking NO! Legendary Hookup The year is Real Cheating Wives of America A Cardi B cocktail, Walmart toilet seats and discounted Rice-a-Roni at a swap meat: All things I'd commit to before slapping a ring on the talons of one of these harpies.

This is who's arguing with you on Reddit. You'll Never be This Alpha Sure - you could be some cookie cutter piss sickening wannabe and slingshot your muffin butter onto your girl's face.

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